We all know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but we also know that human beauty is an expression of good health and good habits. That said, certain occupations heavily rely on attractive appearances that ordinary people would enjoy looking at — a movie actor with an asymmetrical face is going to draw more notice than a bank manager with the same face — and factors such as plastic surgery, substance abuse, or hateful behavior also influence how others perceive a face.
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Under the watchful public eye, here are the top 10 people with the ugliest faces of all time until 2017.
10. Ron Perlman
Ron Perlman is an excellent actor with a face that cannot be described as “conventionally attractive.” The star of Hellboy has also appeared in Sons of Anarchy, Pacific Rim, and 2016’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Ventura County Star describes Perlman as “hulking,” with “a low forehead, deep-set eyes, a large mouth, and an imposing jaw.” In an interview with The Daily Beast, Perlman says he was also “the heaviest kid in whatever class” as a child and teen, which resulted in confidence issues that made him feel more comfortable in roles that required masks or heavy makeup. In his autobiography, Perlman describes enduring constant negativity before he became famous, such as having people “take a double look” when they walk by. Perlman may never be the obvious love interest in a movie, but his face makes him perfect as a villain or tough guy, and we love him for it.
9. Mick Jagger
Famous rock musician Mick Jagger may be an icon in the music industry, but his face is not the nicest thing to look at these days. Although he is a 73-year-old grandfather as of 2016, Jagger continues to portray himself as a sex symbol, in part by fathering his eighth child with a 29-year-old corps dancer at ABT. In contrast with his girlfriend, who is of course beautiful, slender, and toned, Jagger’s years of being a star rocker with the Rolling Stones — which includes heavy drinking and smoking — has left his voice hoarse, his skin “so wrinkly,” according to Sharon Osbourne, and his overall look dry and sagging. The Daily Beast suggests that Jagger “should retire the Mick Jagger costume he has worn for 35 years and the hollow showbiz persona he has cultivated” to focus on making music the way he used to. Jagger, however, would perhaps rather hold onto his 30-year-old self for another 30 years.
8. Helen Thomas
Journalist Helen Thomas paved the way for women in the business when she became the first female White House correspondent in history. She covered the administrations of 11 presidents and even received a personal insult from Fidel Castro. Her impressive career, however, ended when she was forced to retire after making anti-semitic remarks publicly. Although she apologized, Thomas later said she felt she was right about Jews and that losing her job was “a price worth paying.” Although we lament that this trailblazing professional had to endure such patronizing, misogynistic descriptors as “feisty” and “peppery,” we must admit her racist remarks and archetypal “villain” looks don’t rouse much sympathy. Thomas’s protruding, penciled brows, hunched shoulders, narrow eyes, hooked nose, and marionette-like mouth and chin strongly resemble the features of sly Penguin in Tim Burton’s Batman Returns (1992). We are not surprised that Thomas, like Oswald Cobblepot, also want to remove an entire group of people from their homes.
7. Flavor Flav
Clock-bearing rapper Flavor Flav has been trying to make a comeback for years. He appeared on The Surreal Life, a reality TV show about washed-up celebrities, and even Flavor of Love, a matchmaking show centering around himself. The former star might be having trouble finding love because of his bad temper and looks. His strangely shaped face is elongated by an oversized, pointed chin, while his asymmetrical eyes can only be overlooked because of the gaudy metal grills in his mouth: every single tooth that is visible when Flavor Flav smiles is covered in a genuine gold cap. What can be glimpsed of his back teeth are grey and crooked. While the caps are somewhat more attractive than rotting teeth, we can’t help but think that the former convict could have used his gains from past robberies and burglaries to improve his dental health. Flavor Flav may never be famous again, but at least his name still gets into the papers when he commits domestic violence and illicit substance-related crimes.
6. Christie Blatchford
Canadian columnist Christie Blatchford is famed for her misogynistic writing for the major newspapers. Blatchford regularly criticizes deviations from traditional gender roles and “discredits women: a short skirt becomes a veritable acquittal, according to Vice. She has also falsely claimed that “rape and violence against women are rare occurences,” described a rapist as “brave and courageous,” and blamed female harassment victims for causing their male harasser his job after the trials. According to Canadaland, Blatchford “frequently presents her opinions as objective realities and couches them in rhetoric to incite a violent reaction.” To complement her hateful beliefs, Blatchford sports an unflattering hairdo that looks like a poor imitation of Anjelica Huston’s Grand High Witch style in The Witches (1990). The often uneven bangs half shields Blatchford’s V-shaped eyebrows and angry leer, although her sunken face and poor posture remain on view. In response to criticism that she is anti-women, Blatchford made a video in which she suggests that women often lie in court, as noted by Chatelaine. We think it is fitting that someone who regularly spews “hateful garbage without any sources at all,” as Huffington Post describes, is ugly on the outside as well.
5. Phil Spector
Phil Spector was once an attractive seventies pop star — now he is an aging convict who resembles That Yellow Bastard from Sin City and mutant-headed Hector Hammond from The Green Lantern. In 2003, Spector murdered actress Lana Clarkson and falsely claimed she had committed suicide. He had also violently threatened other women who had refused him before. In 2009, Spector was sentenced for his crime. The Telegraph describes a 2014 photo of the murderer as “the most disturbing celebrity photograph ever seen,” in which Spector appears as “a freakish, damaged, wizened old monster.” This “real-life incarnation of Gollum from Lord of the Rings” has the enormous, bald head of a goblin, giant ears, deeply hooded eyes, and a tiny, sneering mouth. Although we hope that Spector will be rehabilitated in prison — that is what the intended goal of the system, at least — we agree that the “anonymous police photographer has gotten closer to the truth of a human being” than any highly lauded artist.
4. Donatella Versace
Designer Donatella Versace has been VP of her family’s high-end Italian fashion house brand since 1997, though she has led the company to lose “both its prestige and design influence,” according to Newsweek, due to her drug addiction and dislike of change. Perhaps it is this desire to keep things the same that drives Versace to plastic surgery and other facial treatments. Cocaine, other drugs, and tanning have also left her skin wrinkled and spotted. Her solution to this problem — Botox — stretches the skin into an alien smoothness instead. Versace’s face now looks skeletal and haggard beneath her perfectly bleached tresses, but perhaps she is pleased. After all, this is the woman who said: “I do not believe in totally natural for women.” Newsweek also describes Versace the brand as “vulgar,” one that “made tacky not only acceptable but enviable.” At least we don’t envy the work Versace has commissioned on her face.
3. Jimmy Savile
Best known for hosting BBC’s Jim’ll Fix It, a charming show in which children received what they most wished for, Jimmy Savile passed away in 2011. In 2012, the UK National Health Service reported that Savile had sexually abused at least 500 children and “countless adults” ranging from two to 75 years old. He had also groped an unnamed number of people he encountered across the UK and attacked patients in the 28 hospitals in which he volunteered. According to Washington Post, Savile was “never a handsome man,” with a face that was “all sharp edges,” a hooked nose, jagged teeth, bulging eyes, and wild hair. NHS and medical professionals say that Savile “was so well-known” that his young victims were not believed. Psychologists suggest he was “likely afflicted with psychopathy,” which is hardly shocking when you consider his grotesque face and smug grin, unimproved by the giant cigar he often held between yellowing teeth.
2. Jocelyn Wildenstein
Jocelyn Wildenstein is Internet famous as the “Catwoman” of botched plastic surgery. With no occupation other than being the former wife of a rich man, Wildenstein has had ample time (decades) and money (millions of dollars) to spend on molding her face. Once a woman with an average “girl next door” face, she now boasts tiny yet exaggerated cat eyes over enormous cheekbones, lips bursting with Botox, an overemphasized chin, a receding hairline, and skin that is sometimes lumpy from the surgical procedures and at other times stretched taut from filler injections. Wildenstein claims to be happy with her “wild cat” look, however, so we don’t need to feel bad for her.
1. David Duke
Although he had once been a physically attractive Ku Klux Klan leader, white supremacist David Duke now has a face that matches his beliefs. The Holocaust denier who claims to be genetically superior to non-white people has undergone so much plastic surgery and skin whitening treatments that he looks creepier than Michael Jackson at the latter’s worst. Against blotchy, rippled skin that is pulled too tightly at the edges, Duke’s hooded and hollowed eyes and colorless eyebrows give him a haunted look. His unnaturally sharp-tipped nose draws attention to a puckered, lip-less mouth. The face lifts have pulled Duke’s hairline to the top of his head, where artificial-looking hair sits. This former felon ran for the Senate in 2016 and lost. Regardless of the results, his melting face in the campaign video will stay with us forever.
It is not polite to make fun of ugly people, but those who are ugly or empty inside as well probably deserve it. Intelligence, accomplishments, and character are far more important traits than outer appearance — in the long run, inner beauty improves while physical beauty decays (and requires surgical maintenance). While attractive neo-Nazis may disagree, we think spending time and energy on being smarter and kinder is the obvious choice.